Dan Purjes on How to Avoid a Messy Divorce in New York

When couples decide they can no longer be together, it is possible for them to have a quick and affordable divorce. At least, that is what Dan Purjes firmly believes in. Unfortunately, not a day goes by that there isn’t some sort of main story in the New York Times that goes into the details of very bitter, messy divorces that go on forever. Purjes understands that it is difficult to determine which asset and which investment belongs to whom but, by finding common grounds, it is possible to come up with a final list that everybody agrees with.

Dan Purjes on Uncontested Divorce

If the New York Times is to be believed, all divorces are horror stories that seem to go on forever. However, this simply isn’t true. In fact, and this is particularly the case in New York, the majority of divorces are “uncontested”. This means that both parties agree to the divorce and are ready to make arrangements in order to enable both to move on with their lives.

According to Dan Purjes, achieving this is down to four steps:

  1. Find a divorce lawyer who believes in coming up with amicable resolutions, for instance through mediation. A good divorce attorney is one with a lot of experience and who has been able to help regular, everyday individuals through their difficulties. They should not be focused on taking the opposing party to the cleaners, but rather on determining what is fair and ensuring that is achieved.
  2. Both parties must make full financial disclosure. This is the only way to ensure a settlement can be reached in divorce cases. Sometimes, there are questions about a certain asset but they can be resolved through full disclosure and by allowing the institution holding the asset, such as a bank, to provide information to the legal team.
  3. Be prepared and build your own knowledge. You can do a lot of research on what is involved in an uncontested divorce, what your rights are, and more. Make sure you research “equitable distribution”, which will help you to determine who gets what. This is important for those items that you purchased together and both need. Under New York law, property acquired while being married is not necessarily marital property, which is something to be aware of.
  4. Do not be tempted to use the divorce to have some sort of revenge. This is perhaps the hardest step because, no matter how amicable a divorce may be, there will always be some bad blood and it is all too easy to let your heartache, anger, disappointment, and sadness take over. Take a step back every once in a while to take an objective view at what is happening.

With these four tips, you should be able to have an uncontested divorce that is over as quick as possible. As soon as the divorce is final, it means you can both move on with your lives. At the end of the day, that is what matters the most.

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